2020 Recap & 2021 Wishes

Well, 2020 has finally come to an end. It's been such a crazy year what with the pandemic and all disrupting our day to day lives. We've all been affected by this virus in one way or another be it by losing our jobs, being unable to travel and meet family or even by getting infected by the virus itself. Albeit it being a trying year for all, we should give ourselves a pat on the back for getting through it.

For me, 2020 was one of the most memorable years I've ever had so far. Here's a little recap of what I've done and achieved so far as well as some of the mistakes that I've made. Let's start with the beginning of 2020. I ended a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I loved him so much (I still do to an extent) but I knew that things just weren't working out and had to make the decision to end it before things got worse. What I'm so thankful and grateful for is that we are still friends to this day. We still text often and keep updated with each other's lives. He's such a blessing to me and has the best heart. Although I still think of what could've been, I know that there are better things waiting for each of us even if it's not for us to experience together.

After the breakup I thought it would be fun to live my single life to the fullest. Tried out some dating apps and was pretty surprised with the results. I'm not going to go into too much detail here but I've had good experiences and bad experience. Overall, it was a learning curve. In between that, I fell for a guy that I really thought I vibed with. For the first time in my life I confessed my feelings but got turned down. I completely understood where he came from and now when I look back at it, I think that it was for the best. The only thing that I feel like I lost by doing that was the friendship that we had. We're still friends but things just aren't the same. As much as I wish it could go back to that, I believe that things happen for a reason and maybe one day we'll go back to that normal. So, that was an emotional week for me but me being me, I gave myself a week to get over it and move on with my life.

Oh! Also in-between all of that happening, I managed to complete my undergraduate thesis and graduate with upper second class honours. Honestly, I really felt that those 3 years passed so quickly. Even though I couldn't spend the last few semesters with my friends, I liked that my finals were online and I had 24 hours to complete each paper. That gave me a lot of time to really think about my answers and find better things to write. After graduating, I took about 2 months off I think. Luckily I saved enough money to keep myself afloat until I found a job. If I had the choice and the means I think I probably would have taken more time off to enjoy myself (even though I probably couldn't enjoy much because of covid...). I did still receive an allowance from my brother because my father lost his job due to the whole covid situation. I moved in with my cousin because I knew that in the long-term I would want to work here in KL and hopefully move overseas in a few years. I think I've just gotten too used to living my life here and to be honest I really love my life here. Most of my friends are here and it's not too far away from my parents so I can visit them whenever I'm free. Compared to my brothers, I'm still the closest in distance to them.

To my dismay, my money was running out, I had bills to pay and I just wanted to be financially independent. My parents need the money more than I do, so I didn't want to keep depending on them or my brother for money anymore. So, I started looking for jobs on every platform that I knew. I already had a company in mind that I found to interest me more than anything. It's well-known and fast paced. Plus, I already have some experience in the field thanks to my previous internship. I applied and just within a few days I went through the interviews and landed myself my first full-time job! I'm so blessed that I managed to get it and I love the people I work with because they're so supportive, chill and most importantly funny. I can't wait for the day that I get to go back to the office and officially meet them in person. I think I'd get along with them famously.

All in all, 2020 had it's ups and downs but for me personally, I think there were more positives. However, I'm more than happy to leave that year behind and focus on all the good things to come this year. As per usual, I have a list of goals that I wish to achieve this year and hopefully I garner the strength to complete each and every one of them. It's really hard to find the discipline to be consistent but that's what I'm striving to do this year. I want to be healthier, happier as well as continue to be hopeful. My wish for 2021 for myself as well as for my friends and family is that I want all of us to manifest positivity and not be afraid to go after the things that we want. I hope to continually be motivated to becoming a better person, daughter, colleague and friend. I also decided to be a little more private with my personal life. Instead of posting every single thing on socials, I want to be more reflective and really give myself the time and space to feel and find a way to deal with my life in a positive and healthy way. 2021 is the year to focus on myself; what I want to achieve in the coming years, the kind of person I aspire to be, the kind of life I want to lead. Slowly but surely, I intend to be the best version of myself so that one day I can say that I have zero regrets and that every decision that I have made, I have made with the best intentions.

I don't really have a wish for my love life. I do want to settle down and have a proper relationship but I'm in no rush. I do miss it but at the same time I know I don't need one to survive. I know that the right guy will come eventually but even if he doesn't, I still have me and I have amazing friends who love me as well. So, I guess I'll just go with the flow. If something happens, it happens. I will no longer try to chase after someone or put my heart on my sleeve so willingly. If 2020 taught me anything, it was to not be so naive and foolish when it comes to affairs of the heart. That doesn't mean I can't have fun though. What is life without it's adventures?

Well, I think that's all from me today. I hope you all had a great new year. I know things seem pretty bad right now, so let's do our part to make sure that this pandemic ends this year so that we can all go back to our normal lives and live the way we all want to live. Keep striving, keep hoping for a better tomorrow.

Happy New Year everyone <3